While reports of my death have been grossly over exaggerated, my apologies for not having written again sooner. Lately, I’ve been more or less blissfully free of Mr. MMA’s never ending bullshit because, well, I got promoted. To tell the tale I beg your patience is a slight digression. I need to clue you into the supporting cast of characters that makes up the rest of Mr. MMA’s ownership group.
First, there is Puppy Dog. He’s an extremely likable guy, just like a puppy that you just brought home for the first time. Like that new puppy he always has to be watched and supervised. If you let him off the leash you do so at your own risk, he isn’t going to get anything done when you need him to that way. He’s a natural PR guy and that’s more or less his role with the gym, just don’t expect him to think long term or be on time.
Next, you’ve got Young Gun. He’s in his late 20’s but is already a rousing business success, having bought and sold more than one company already. His biggest problem is his inability to sit still and focus on one venture, so he always has too many things on his plate. Fortunately for him, and unlike Puppy Dog, he can manage time with military like precision so is more or less effective in his multiple ventures.
Finally, you have All Business. He’s direct, upfront, and no nonsense. In another life he was probably an NCO in the military (if you believe in reincarnation) because he has that same approach to life all the good ones have. I get along with All Business the best out of all the owners. We see eye to eye and while he doesn’t have as outgoing a personality as I do, we agree on the bedrock principles in life. It should come as no surprise that All Business is at odds with Mr. MMA almost as much as I am.
There has been a huge turnover at the gym recently. Mr. MMA, called “The Emperor” behind his back by most of the personal trainers (see I’m not the only one who doesn’t like him), had pissed off one individual so bad he left, another one said Mr. MMA was a factor in the decision but had too much going on outside the gym so he quit, and the gym let one other person go. I went from FNG to salty overnight.
All Business seized on this immediately and started pushing even harder for me to become a gym manager. While I’m a trainer/instructor first, if I don’t have a client or if I’m not teaching a class I’m also willing to take the time to make the gym membership sales and I don’t have my head up my ass, or so All Business told me. Young Gun was cautiously optimistic about me and Puppy Dog pretty much goes with the position that seems the strongest at that moment, the only one who needed to get on board with this was Mr. MMA. If you remember Mr. MMA’s initial feel out of me over management issues was what started this whole party.
About a week ago All Business’ banging finally came to fruition. Mr. MMA breezed through the door with a serious look on his face as he walked up to me.
“We need to talk Boss Fighter.” He told me.
“Ok, sure. What’s up?” I asked him, standing up and turning around to face.
“Uhh, how about we do this outside?” Mr. MMA says looking around nervously, as usual.
“Fine with me.” I tell him as we walk out the gym. Mr. MMA makes a show of looking around before starting in.
“I want you to know that for the past couple of weeks the owners and I have been talking about making you a manager here…”
I know dip shit. I couldn’t help but think. All Business and I have already talked about everything from hours, to responsibilities, to pay scale- pathetic as it’s going to be. Why the fuck do you think I’m sitting at the desk right now to begin with you moron?
“… and I want you to know I think you are a great choice for the position and I have been pushing your name really hard to the other owners…” Suddenly, something I’d know about Mr. MMA but had never been able to articulate popped into my head.
You really are the ‘always right guy’ aren’t you? I just need to make sure you think all my ideas are your ideas, let you take all the credit for them and I’m never going to have an issue with you am? I thought to myself. I hate people like that. If it’s a good idea, it’s a good idea. It doesn’t have to be yours to it to work people.
“… and when you get that offer I want you to come see me so we can discuss it. I think it’s a great opportunity for you Boss Fighter, and I really want you to take.”
You arrogant fucking jackass I already took the job, I’ve just waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass to make it official! I couldn’t help but think. And All Business was the one banging this drum, not you! You fucking prick!
“Sounds good Mr. MMA,” I told him, pussing out from telling him off for the thousandth time this month. “I’ll be looking forward to talking with Young Gun (who’s in charge of hiring) when he comes in today.” Young Gun didn’t come in that day, but All Business did. That night as we closed up he officially offered the job to me in Young Gun’s stead.
“So, at what point, did you wanting me for the manager turn into Mr. MMA’s idea for me to be the sales manager?” I asked All Business as we were closing up the gym later that night.
“As soon as I realized that the best way to make it all work was to let Mr. MMA think it was his idea in the first place,” he told me with a smirk on his face. I’m going to beat Mr. MMA like a redheaded step child in 344 days, but All Business is the fucking man. “Make sure you get your schedule done up and sent to us all by the end of tomorrow.”
Strangely, when I made up my 40-hour schedule, I wasn’t at the gym the nights Mr. MMA taught his point sparring martial art classes. What a surprise.
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